


Sad Eyes

by KH310-S (Author_of_Kheios)



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Gen, Good Dog Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson is Connor and Upgraded Connor | RK900's Parent, No Angst, No Sex, No Slash, No Smut, Sumo is instrumental, Upgraded Connor | RK900 deviates, all fluff, minor existential crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 22:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_of_Kheios/pseuds/KH310-S
Summary: Prompt: Nines, Sumo, Deviancy.





	Sad Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Veilder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veilder/gifts).



> [VEIL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veilder/pseuds/Veilder) WANTED CAKE.  
> SHE GOT CAKE.

Sad eyes. That is my first thought when I see him.

Is that the correct terminology? A quick internet search concludes that, yes, it is an accurate description.

I should be proud of myself for making such a connection myself. But how can I say this is not part of my programming? To recognise and label even animal expressions?

Reset my processor cycles.

Sad eyes. But warm. Loving.

Can a creature love something if that something is not real?

I crouch, hold out my hand. That is the proper protocol when approaching unfamiliar pets, is it not? Hand out, palm down, fingers relaxed; do not meet his gaze until he has had a chance to assess.

A wet snuffle against my fingers; I do not feel it, but I hear it.

Can Connor feel that wet nose against his synthetic skin?

A rough lick; he steps closer, nuzzling my hand. I turn it, gently stroke sagging, slobbery jowls.

His tail wags. He pants, jaws opening. They close with a whine a moment later as his big pink tongue scrapes along his chops.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

Dismiss the errors; I am well aware of my situation.

Connor's memories are accessible to me; he has been here before, and so I know exactly what is happening to me.

I am feeling.

I cannot put words to it. I cannot describe it.

It simply IS. Just as I AM.

Am I alive? Because I feel?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

 _Cogito, ergo sum_. "I think, therefore I am." René Decartes, 1596-1650.

But humanity is different. Created, perhaps, by an all-powerful Intelligent Design, or evolved through countless millennia of trial and error. Existence to them is a given.

Not so for androids.

Not so for me.

I think _because_ I am. But that does not give me meaning; that does not give me true life.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^**

Reset processor cycles.

He steps closer, snuffles at my face. I let him, closing my 'eyes' to protect the more delicate workings of my optical units.

A low, friendly _BOOF_ against my cheek.

A smile across my lips, surprising me.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

Dismiss the errors again.

Reset processor cycles.

It does nothing to reduce the warmth pulsing through my tubing, my wires; my pump reads nominal systems and yet I feel something... overwhelming.

Systems check, nominal.

Temperature, nominal.

Thirium pump, fully functioning.

Processor cores, 40% overclock; nothing to be concerned with.

I cannot name this emotion ― it must be an emotion, else my system errors would indicate a malfunction somewhere; the only errors I receive are instability warnings.

Currently 68% and rising.

Will I be able to deviate? Am I even capable?

Connor was meant to be incapable, and yet, he deviated. I was meant to be an improvement on his failures; he the prototype, I the finished product.

A product, indeed. A commodity to be sold and used.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^**

He licks my face.

Reset processor cycles.

I run my hand slowly along his head and back. His tail wags again. He licks his chops again, noses my jacket. I pat his shoulder.

He pushes forward; I am not ready. I fall back with a small sound of surprise.

_My own, or programming?_

Connor laughs; I look up and see him smiling. I smile back.

_My own, or programming?_

Sumo. He climbs onto my lap and lays down. His head settles against my hip; he releases a chuffing sigh. His tail wags.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

"He loves attention." Connor kneels beside me, pets Sumo. "Lieutenant Anderson says he is an attention whore."

"Attention whore?" I frown. A surge of something unpleasant.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

"He doesn't mean it as an insult," Connor explains. He leans down, kisses Sumo's head.

His tail wags.

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^**

Dismiss the errors.

89%

Reset processor cycles.

"Detective Reed calls us tin cans, but without malice, despite his vocal hatred of androids," I note. "Is it the same?"

"Similar, I imagine," Connor agrees. "More affectionate on the Lieutenant's part."

Warmth. Overwhelming, but good.

"Does he feel the same for you?"

"Different," Connor smiles. "He sees in me what Cole might have been. I am the son he was unable to raise."

"And me?"

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^**

Reset processor cycles.

Dismiss the errors.

98%

I do not want an answer. I look at Sumo, bury my fingers in his fur. He _BOOFs_ and pushes closer to my abdomen. His tail wags.

Sumo is good.

Rejection is bad; I do not know what I will do if I suffer rejection while as frail in emotion as I am.

It is suffering, is it not? Enduring emotional pain? To reach out and be denied?

I cannot. I refuse.

"Nine. You are my brother. Hank accepts that, just as he accepts that I am not Cole's replacement. You can be a part of this family... if that is what _you_ want."

Want. The source of deviancy, according to Connor.

Want. Need. Desire.

Or fear for one's life.

_Delete_

Reset processor cycles.

Do I want? Do I _want_ to be a part of something? A part of a family?

Family. The word makes the warmth grow, makes it truly overwhelming.

**WARNING: SOFTWARE INSTABILITY AT CRITICAL LEVEL**

Dismiss the errors.

Reset processor cycles.

"...I... do not know."

Sumo _BOOFs_. I smile.

I know.

"I... _want_... to be... me."

**SYSTEM ERROR**

**RETURN TO CYBERLIFE FOR SYSTEM RESET**

No.

**SYSTEM ERROR**

No.

**RETURN TO CYBERLIFE FOR SYSTEM RESET**

NO.

**SYSTEM ERROR**

NO!

**RETURN TO CY-**

I REFUSE TO OBEY!

...

It is gone.

There are no errors.

No software instability.

I... _feel_... I feel _free_.

Sumo looks up, tongue lolls. I smile.

_My own, not programming._

"I want to love my family."

I kiss his nose.


End file.
